Eric Holen

The other day, Yvette uttered the words I had been dreading.  She told me that I needed to start putting together my Christmas list.

This is something we and many in my family have been doing for the last several years. We prepare and share our own self serving Christmas lists.  The lists serve two purposes.  First, it helps the family with ideas for gifts.  Second, it helps avoid receiving something that came with a lot of thought and love, but still ends up as a future donation.

The lists are a great help for Yvette and I who don’t get to see family very often. We love being able to buy something that someone wants or needs, rather than racking our heads for a suitable gift.  If you don’t provide a list, you can expect a gift card.

The Christmas lists from my family cover the range from books to music, clothes for children, and family friendly movies and games.  Further, there are generally several items of different price ranges so that family can select what they want and can afford to give.  Once we select a give for someone, we share it with each other, excluding the recipient, to avoid duplicates.

For me, developing the list is somewhat difficult, because if I really needed or wanted it, I would have already bought it.

Interestingly, one Christmas gift that we didn’t ask for, I think it predates list, is one that we use almost every day.  Beth, my oldest sister, gave us matching Tupperware coffee canisters one year.  One holds the coffee and the other holds the filter and scoop.

So in the “spirit” of the upcoming season, here is my list.

Donate to one of the following organizations:

• American Diabetes Association – for Yvette
• Cystic Fibrosis Foundation – for Michael
• ASPCA, Humane Society or your local animal shelter – for all of the animals who need our help

STOP:  If you are going to use a credit card to purchase any gift this season, then stop.  I don’t want a gift.  Instead, send me pictures of you and your family along with a brief letter about how you are doing and an offer that Yvette and I are welcome to visit and stay in your house anytime.

Otherwise, please feel free to choose from one or more of the following.  I included items of varying costs to fit everyone’s budget.

• Logo T-Shirt, large – under $10
• Streets of Fire DVD, used ­– under $10, and look for it at Half Price Books
• Stafford Performance Dress Shirt, White Broadcloth – $19 on sale, can never have too many white dress shirts
• Sneakers, size 9 ½  – $40, my primary pair is now two years old and ready to move to gym duty
• Portable Hard Drive, 1 TB – $70, but wait for the Christmas sales
• Dell XPS 15z Laptop – $1,499, I can use it to write a blog post thanking you for the gift
• Crossroads Zinger ZT25SB Travel Trailer – $20,531 approximately, I will let you sleep in it (once)
• 2011 Silverado 1500 Crew Cab LS – $27,235 approximately, I will take you for a ride (also once)

While 1 Samuel 17 tells the story about David and Goliath, this is not that story. This is the story of David vs. Eric.

This past weekend, Marianne and Matt, my sister and brother-in-law, gave birth to a beautiful boy. I won’t bore you with all of the details. However, they gave him the middle name of David.

There are eight children in my family. I am the oldest, while David, my only brother, is the second youngest.

While I haven’t asked Marianne and Matt, I am sure they will tell me that their new son has a biblical name and wasn’t named after my little brother. Still, the newest member of our family does bear my brother’s name.

The name David appears in the Bible more times than I care to count. In fact, Wikipedia reports that 73 of the 150 Psalms in the Bible are attributed to David.

Eric doesn’t appear in the Book of Psalms or the Bible at all. I knew because I searched on YouVersion and the website timed out trying to find me.

So while Marianne and Matt brought a beautiful child into this world and gave him a strong first name, which is also biblical, in my opinion they could have tried a little harder on the middle name.

Congratulations to my sister, her husband, their new son and the entire family. I wish I was there to celebrate with them and to hold my newest nephew, David.

A few years ago, my sister Marianne and her family gave Yvette and me a beautiful tile for Christmas. They had taken a floor tile and applied “Be something” sayings around the outside of the tile. In addition to be being a thoughtful gift it was homemade from their family to ours.

The tile sat propped against the wall in my study for at least a year until we could find an appropriate mount to hand it on a wall. Then it moved out to the dining room table for another year to remind us to find a mount. Then we found and attached the mount, yet it sat on the dining room table while we thought about where to hang it. Finally, and just last night, we hung the tile overlooking our dining room table.

Through all of that time, I have tried not to lose sight of the messages that the tile provided. Here are those messages, read clockwise from the tile.

Be Grateful – Recognize that Yvette and I are comfortable, have a very happy marriage, a roof over our heads and a car to travel. I have a job, keyword have, that I enjoy getting up for every single day.

Be Smart – Think before acting. I can control my actions, but I cannot control the consequences they may have.

Be Still – There are times when it makes sense to sit back and relax. Life doesn’t have to be about doing something every moment of the day.

Be Prayerful – Always recognize that God has a greater purpose for our lives. Pray that I am serving Him in the way that He intended.

Be True – Be honest with myself, Yvette and with those that support me. Recognize that I have challenges that I am still working to overcome.

Be Clean – Watch what I think about and say. It should always be something I would be willing to share on this blog.

Be Involved – Continue to support others and my community. It is important to give back by helping and supporting others and their causes.

Be Positive – Regardless of what others are saying or what is happening around me, keep a smile on my face and please thoughts in my head. Be an example to others by not letting my words or actions be negative or hurtful.

Be Honorable – Do the right thing each and every time the opportunity presents itself.

While it took a few years to hang the tile on the wall, its messages have and will continue to carry me forward. My continued thanks to Marianne and the entire Martin family for the gift.

Today made it official. Elisa, my mother (in-law), is now a permanent part of our small family.

In January, her third divorce from the same man finally went through. After giving her several weeks to get her affairs in order, Yvette and I traveled (separately) to El Paso to help her pack and move back to Kyle to live with us.

It shouldn’t be too much of a shock to our lives. She spent a month with us in July 2010 just before her divorce was supposed to go through.  Then lived with us almost two months in November and December before heading back to El Paso to finalize her divorce.

A small part of me wants to feel guilty. We don’t ask her to pay for rent, food or utilities. However, on her own accord and since she is retired, she keeps our house clean.

What’s interesting is that I think the arrangement will be more stressful on Yvette then me.

A few weeks ago, Yvette and I spent several days in El Paso visiting our families. In the past, this would have meant me dropping by my mom’s house to visit for an hour or two each day. However, this trip was different, but I didn’t occur to me until it was almost over.

I had last seen my mom in June when she came out to Temple to help my sister Sarah find a house. It was the first time I had seen her since September 2009, when Yvette and I had last visited El Paso. Over the preceding 9 months, she had been attending Weight Watchers and had really worked hard to lose weight. My family has always seemed to struggle with weight. My mom looked great and was more active, but the loss of the weight really showed her age. It reminded me a little of the concerns some of my coworkers had when I dropped my weight.

The affect of my mom’s weight loss altered my perception of her real age. I think it was then I started thinking about the time we had left together.

When Yvette and I traveled to El Paso earlier this month, I didn’t suspect anything would be different from previous trips. Then I kept asking to stop by the house to see my mom.

I give credit to Yvette’s any my marriage that we have always felt comfortable spending a little time apart when we travel to El Paso. This gives us both opportunities to maximize time with our families. This time, I really found myself drawn back to my mom over and over and not once did Yvette ever question me.

Over and over again, Yvette would drop me off at the house and then run off to her family. Meanwhile, my mom and I would spend time talking, relaxing, even running off to Wal-Mart for grocery shopping. One afternoon was spent talking and playing with one of my nieces who had stayed home sick from daycare. Another night was spent with just my mom, Yvette and me going out to dinner. My mom and I talked more on this one trip than I can recall over at least the last 10 years since I had moved to Austin.

I am already looking forward to our next trip to El Paso and the time that I can spend with my mom.